A year has passed. Another year. Seems almost yesterday I was excited about “a new year”. Maybe age is catching up but the enthusiasm for a new year seems to be diluting.
In 2016, a couple of things happened to me. I turned 21. I worked/studied hard. I traveled. It seems pretty unreal to me that I can go around travelling without a care in the world and come back to the best feeling; being loved by my family. I guess the biggest milestone for me this year(last year 2016) was the revelation of how much family matters. If you know me well, I don’t really have the best of ties with my family, especially my dad. Daddy issues I know.
But this year, something changed. Maybe it was the family trips to Bangkok and Genting that sparked a change in my perception of my family. Funny as it sounds, I learned to reciprocate and love my parents even more. I’m not the most expressive but I’m beginning to appreciate them and what they do for the family. Weird I know. In fact, I found out that my dad and I are pretty alike. We’re pretty cool people. Strange.
I guess it’s the parenting my parents gave us that shaped me to be like this but now that I’m 21, I’m slowly seeing the bigger picture; why they did this, why didn’t they do that. They could have spoiled us like any other kid our age but they made sure they inculcated values in us from young so that in the future, we grow up to be respectful and dignified individuals.
Yes, we may “hate” them for being strict, being heartless, almost as though we are not their kids but slowly I’ve come to understand why they did that. Making us do chores, punishing us for wrong deeds, making us greet our elders, teaching us important life skills and most importantly, to be humble. It’s ok if others like to compare you with their kids; it fuels their sickened egos. As long as I did my best, I’d know they’d be equally proud of me.
Someone once told me, “Everyone is living on an expiry date.” So are my parents. So am I. All I can do now is to ensure that they are happy in this lifetime whilst they are still alive and breathing. I’d try my best to resolve their worries and do my part to bring the family together, bit by bit I suppose. We all start somewhere.
Friends. I’m starting to be more selective with friends. True friends. Call me crazy but sometimes in friendships when you are underappreciated, I think it’s time to go. Maybe you should start knowing your self-worth and look for people who can appreciate you better. Am I the only one feeling this way?
It seems to me that even if you have their backs, they always seem to disappoint you. I suppose you can rationalize it by saying they have their own lives to lead. Guess that’s the whole point of having “catch-up” session huh? Well, guess what, I have my own life to lead too. HAHA I’ll be happy for you in whichever phase of life you’re in but please don’t place unnecessary expectations on my life because heck, I have no idea too. Besides, my headstrong personality have a really tough time dealing with certain individuals so I give up these kind of friendships easily. Maybe I’ll change. Maybe.
Lastly, in 2016, I almost died. Almost. I got diagnosed with dengue fever and my fever didn’t subside for almost a week. I really felt like dying. I could have. I wanted to but I didn’t. Mama nurse saved me, well the disgusting papaya juice she grinded worked miracles I guess. Funnily enough, my first thought wasn’t to tell anyone about it. What kind of hero did I think I was huh. Sometimes I’d like to think that I live like the dead actually. Well, that’s for another post of “What’s the meaning of life?”. And that, buddy, is a story for another time.
Onward 2k17, we shall see.
theniecextn. 
Leave a comment