Boxes.

If one day I have to explain what is it like to live in the city I belong to, Singapore, I think this is what I’ll say:

We live in boxes stacked on top of each other.

These boxes we call flats. They have fancy names too; HDBs, condominiums. If you’re richer or wealthier, you can choose to live in bigger boxes called bungalows, terrace houses and so on. Funny thing is, as close as these living residences are to each other, people themselves are distant from each other. Maybe as we grow more affluent, it’s no longer important to care about others. Only the important ones, like our families and friends. No one else really matters. It is almost like our hearts and minds grew a little smaller, housing only the people that truly matter to us.

We sleep in boxes too.

Our bedrooms. We sleep and spend our alone time here. In our alone time, we are stranded within four walls and our wretched minds. The loneliness. The emptiness. Our minds wander and poison our soul with questions. Undermining. Condemning. Despairing. Sure, you can hide behind your phones and pretend that you have plenty of friends but how many of them would stand by you through your darkest times. Not many. That said, the company of family and friends fills up this emptiness. They make us feel a little better; something to look forward in life for now. You’re still alone after all.

Nevermind living in boxes, our culture has been entrenched in a vicious cycle as well.

We grow up with parents telling us that to succeed in life, you should get a prestigious job such as a lawyer, banker or a doctor. Don’t venture forth anything else, because it would be deemed embarrassing to the family name or it won’t earn you enough money. It’s not “successful” enough. Suddenly, our parents’ ambition for us became our ambition. There’s no room for finding your passion or finding a job that you enjoy. Just do.

Heck. Our parents told us to chase only for the “A”s because your sibling/cousin is doing so well in her studies and you should too. Why can’t you be as smart as them? So that’s what we did. We tried. It’s not easy though since everyone’s parents expects the same for their child. But we still tried anyway. Some of us got the grades. Some didn’t. Some gave up even.

Don’t despair though. To quote an article I read, “In this exam hall, there could be an aspiring artist who doesn’t need to learn mathematics. There could be an engineer who will have no use for economics. And so on.” As long as they tried their best, it’s all that matters. Nevermind the grades, we still love you the same. Maybe parents need to tell their kids that.

It seems that in this education system or even our parent’s minds for that matter, grades do matter. Grades seem to define your level of intelligence. The thing about intelligence is; if you’re deemed smarter, you almost declare yourself better than the rest. Sure, your parents must be really proud of you but are you really better than the rest though? Does this give you to right to look down on people? This is a self fulfilling prophecy that propensates some sort of superiority complex and almost gives them the right to be snobbish or even look down on others. This is a vicious cycle that generations of children have to go through. These boxes.

Our minds. They only function in boxes too.

We only think about ourselves. People seem to care more about themselves than others. It’s their right though. Unknowingly in every argument, by saying “Am I right?”; it almost seems like any counter argument will always be wrong or unheard. No one wants to be wrong. They always want to be right. This self-centeredness can get quite disgusting sometimes. Will they get tired of being right all the time? I think not. Can we do anything about it? Probably not. In their little boxes, they will always be right.

Maybe it’s these circumstance that has shaped the way we behave and think. But it’s alright though, that’s the world we live in today. Never mind not changing the world but I suppose you could start small. Start with yourself. Maybe one day you can also step out of this box we call life and perhaps live a little differently. Educate your kids a little differently. And maybe live for yourself for once.