How’s life?

I’ve never really talked much about my job ever since I started working. Well, there’s nothing to talk about.

It’s a chill, unfulfilling, stupid job.

At first it was nice, I almost have nothing to do and if there’s actually something, its probably something that some tom/dick/harry on the street can solve. That’s how useless my job is. I basically started my career backwards. This is a fucking retirement job. I literally choked and died when my boss commended me for increasing the volume for the videos during the year end conference. I know.

All 16 years of my education and now I can finally adjust the volume on videos. Jesus praise the lord.

For the record, she was legit genuine about her compliment. That’s what made it so fucking annoying. For the record, she awarded me with a $100 Shangri-La spa voucher when she said that and guess what I did. Of course I sold it.

The benefits here are good though, I get free lunches almost every week and early Fridays once a month. Its amazing. I have so much free time, I’m actually venturing to start a food blog or even a crafting business. Crazy right? I went back to reading novels and arts on my free time which was nice. I know I should start looking for a better job. Like now. I’m still working on it. Ugh. I really hate interviews though. Sigh.

I’ve noticed this about myself before but I’ve never realized how awfully I hated small talk.

Ever since I started working, small talk is like a staple food. Basically, you must make small talk with everyone. It’s almost routine to put up a facade in front of co-workers. That’s the professional and polite thing to do. Did I mention that it pains to open my mouth and insert myself into these little what-not conversations.  Its even MORE painful especially when the people you are talking to are your bosses. No thank you. I’d rather stab myself.

 *proceeds to nod and agree to whatever they’re talking about* #ireallyneedthisjob

One time, a colleague from HR (wtf I know) told me to smile more often cause I look fierce (I do have a RBF, can’t help it). But wow. Alright now I have to smile and seem friendly. Great. *Proceeds to smile whenever I see anyone in the office* fml
Not just that…I have to actually be friendly. No biggie. Everyone knows I’m a friendly soul.

Soon enough, I noticed I have little energy to entertain small talks…unless it’s something I’m interested in. In University I could just totally disconnect myself from small talks because we don’t give a fuck about each other. But now at work…you see them every fucking day. Look how the tables have turned eh?

I need to work on actually pretending to care about what they are talking about.

Sometimes, I’ll drift off amidst their small talks somehow. This is what adulting feels like. Being fake. Perhaps it’s the age gap between and my colleagues…I can’t really be bothered to care about other people. I can be a great listener though…it helps a bit. As much as I can try to be their best friend or listener, they will never be half as close to me as my circle of friends.

Maybe this is what they call networking. Pretending to give a fuck when you honestly don’t.

It’s tiring is all. Especially for someone like myself who appreciates some good o’ sincerity and realness. Life happens.

On the other hand, do you know which job is really good at being fake? PAs aka Personal Assistants. Also known as the toughest job on earth, or at least in this office. I mean if your boss has the age of a dinosaur and basically can’t do anything to save her life, being her PA is as good as sending you to hell. Wait then again, my boss’s age is not close to a dino but he behaves like one. Looks can indeed be deceiving. My heart goes out to people who work in the IT department, they might as well start a school because everyone has issues with adopting technology here for some reason.

Basically, I work in an office of dinosaurs. And bitches. Bitchy dinosaurs. Entitled bitchy dinosaurs. Entitled bitchy dinosaurs you simply wanna slap in the face.

Oh you wanna know why being a PA is tough? You are basically a maid. A highly educated maid. I totally hated it when our PA was away on maternity leave and I had to take over some of her roles. Like wtf? Hello, this is not my fucking job. Yet here we are. The good news is, our PA is finally back after a 3-month hiatus and it felt like I was seeing Jesus for the first time.

She is literally Godsent.

She’s amazing. She can make small talk and pretend she’s actually interested in her boss’s life. She can smile sincerely and agree to do the most ridiculous tasks her boss has requested her to do. Even if it involves requesting the Global team to arrange breakfast for our guests (when obviously the team in Global are probably going to think who dafuq do you think you are, why must I even help you do this bullsht arrangement). See the thing is, I can’t do this. I get pissed when my parents ask me to do housework, no way in hell I will survive working as a PA. So that’s a strike off my potential career paths.

Alright, back to watching cat videos.

Update: I just got fired. Not fired per say but they are not renewing my contract so I guess this is my last week here. They literally gave me 2 weeks notice about the non-renewal. WTF. I know who approved it. Just another fucking bitch. She didn’t even have the face to appear for the farewell lunch. Thank god though I can’t even imagine how my face is going to contort if I saw her there. I’m going to miss working for this chillax place but I suppose its time I looked for a more challenging job anyway. Here goes nothing. *proceeds to drown in the ocean*

So… how has life been treating you?