Am I an introvert?

When my boss came to me and said I’m quite introverted. I thought…am I?

I’ve always thought of myself as an extrovert. I led orientation camps, volunteered for leadership roles and I enjoy interacting and meeting new people. I realized that after I went through uni and started working, I’ve become selectively introverted. Like I’m only extroverted to people whom I like. I suppose my boss thinks I’m introverted because I don’t really talk much in conversations at work. I mean…what can I possibly say to people that are my parent’s/grandparent’s age? Not much.

Maybe strangers tend to think I’m an introvert because I don’t all to them about stuff but if they asked I would have shared? Ugh. Well, work is work so I suppose I need to work on being more extroverted?? I don’t think I’m not sociable but the age gap isn’t making things any better. 

Do I go to them to talk about my travels? They probably went to more places than me and considering how snobbish they are, they would much rather share their own experiences than listen to any one else’s. Do I pretend to be interested when they talk about their kids? Yes, I do. Am I genuinely interested though? Not quite.

I mean when I hang among st my friends, I’m definitely not an introvert so who cares right?

Then this happened too:

A colleague of mine told me some people in the office find me weird. Hmm I didn’t know how to react to that.

I’m weird because I refuse to socialize with certain people. I’m selective in choosing who I want to hang out with. So I guess people who didn’t get the chance to know me start to think I’m weird? Oh so talking to myself is weird. Nice. Have you ever stood in front of a blouse and think out loud whether it suits you? Oh is that just me? I’m not crazy LOL

It’s not nice to spread such rumors about others without making an effort to get to know them. Fucking judgmental people. That’s one of the reasons I didn’t want to hang out with certain people in the office. They are fucking judgy and cliquish. Oh never mind. I’m leaving anyway so it doesn’t really matter.

Honestly, I don’t really care what other people think about me. Maybe that’s why when my boss told me I’m introverted, I wasn’t surprised cause I didn’t make an effort for him to get to know me. Work is work right? I think I grew up with so many people around me saying ‘no’ to me that I honestly don’t give a fuck about anyone’s opinion cause I don’t need this kind of negativity in my life.

Working is really hard. Pleasing people is so much harder.

But you know what? I think I just haven’t found a work place that I can fully blend in and be myself. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with me. Its just that wherever I go, there are a shit ton of these small minded people that needs to seriously shut the fuck up and mind their own fucking business for fuck sake.