My Competition.

“The only person you have to compete with is yourself.”

We’ve all been put in positions where we’ve been compared to others; be it with our siblings, relatives and even our peers. Heck, we even choose to compare ourselves with others sometimes.

“Why aren’t you as smart as your brother?”

“Your cousin topped the class last semester, why can’t you do the same?”

“Sam graduated the same time as you did but you’re not earning as much as he is. What is wrong with you?”

“Jane is getting married next month, when are you getting married?”

So it’s not unusual that we start to subconsciously start to compare ourselves with others. I’ll admit, I’m guilty as charged and you know what? It’s toxic as fuck and I’m still trying to get over it. Yes, X is smarter. Yes, Y earns more. Yes, Z is getting married. Guess what? It’s not a competition. We all have our own timelines and well, if we continue to dwell on how inadequate we are, it’s not going to make us any happier. Sure, some may say that’s its a form of positive motivation, but there’s a fine line between positive motivation and toxicity. And trust me, once it gets into your head, it gets real bad real quick.

Truth is, we will in one way or another compare ourselves with others; perhaps because of the way were brought up or the external factors that molded us into the person we are. It just happens. It’s as though we need some sort of benchmark to convince ourselves we are doing better than the rest.

But if we really have to compare ourselves to someone, compare with yourself – the old version of you.

We should all strive to be a better person than the person we were the day before, months before or even years before. As long as you are doing better than the old you, guess what, you did it. The person I was 3 years ago would not have imagined myself graduating or getting a legit job or even funding a house loan (who am I?). But yes, I did that.

We all lead different lives. We face different problems every single day. The problems I face will not be the same as yours. One thing for sure is that you overcame it. All by yourself. That’s all that matters. Suicidal? Fight it. Depression? Deal with it. Insecurities? Working on it. As long as you did something about it, it’s progress so yes, baby steps. We will all grow; perhaps at a different pace but we will definitely, grow. Maybe we should give ourselves more credit when credit is due.

I think part of the problem with me was when it was time to wish others well for their achievements, I can’t do it genuinely. Yeah, it problematic to a fault really. It happens but I think I’m getting better at handling it? At least I try to.

So yeah, you wanna compare with someone? Beat yourself. Not literally of course.

It’s healthier, happier and nutritious… for your soul.

What do you think?

D