Racism.

Let’s talk racism. There’s been a spate of events and news going around uncovering the deep seated issue of racism in Singapore and it has got me thinking quite a bit.

Here’s a confession I’d hate to admit, when I was younger, I was borderline racist too.

Let’s define what’s my version of being racist. I’m not racist but I did engage in racists actions such as making racist jokes about other’s skin colour. To that, I’d admit I am still guilty. Fact is, I wasn’t even aware I was racist at all. I was young and ignorant and I did not realize the gravity of how my words or actions could have affected others. For that, I’d like to apologize to the people who may have been affected by my racist comments at any point in my life.

I’m sorry, I should have known better.

As a child, I did not exactly have a good grasp of what is right or wrong and the people you can look up to for guidance would be your role models – the adults. Sadly, the people around me who were supposed to be my role models; my grandparents, relatives and even my parents were, as much as they refuse to admit, borderline racist too. I’m pretty sure that they innately knew that the jokes or comments they made were racist but they still did it anyway as they thought it was ‘okay’ to do so. Breaking the ice? Let’s crack some racist jokes about Indians. Punishment for bad behavior? “That ‘An bu neh neh’ (Indian) will come and catch you”. The list goes on.

Being an impressionable teenager, I too thought that it was normal to make these racist comments and get away with it. Until I realized it is not.

It’s not okay to make jokes about a person skin color and it’s not okay to think that they will be cool with your actions because they are ‘used to it’. We Chinese people may be the majority but that absolutely does not give us the right to bully the minorities into submission and making them ‘go along’ with whatever racist remarks or actions we make.

It’s not funny. It’s not right. Heck, it’s not normal.

I’m thankful I realized the gravity of my racist behavior and I can honestly say I am no longer the same person as I was before. But the truth is, some people don’t realize it all. Not today, not tomorrow, maybe not even in their lifetimes. That’s what scares me. The perfect example would be the recent news about how a Singaporean male lecturer openly going up to an interracial couple to make a racist comment that they should not date because they are not the same race. Who even does that? He clearly doesn’t realizes what he’s saying is wrong.

Now that I’m older, I start to think, how do you raise children to be not racist and also have to educate the people around you (grandparents/parents etc) that racism is not an issue to be taken lightly?

Do you go up to your grandma and tell her to shut the fuck up and stop making such racist remarks because you are poisoning the mind of my child? Sure, you can try to ‘educate’ them but honestly do you think they will listen to you? Making racist remarks is as normal as bread and butter to these people and you’d expect them to suddenly watch what they are saying. I highly doubt that’s going to work.

We have to correct their behaviors somehow but I’m not sure how we can, given that 1) they are the elderly we are supposed to respect them and 2) they think they are always right i.e they have insane egos. Can you imagine having a conversation with your gramps, “Ah ma, you cannot make such racist comments because it’s wrong to make such statements about a person’s skin color”. I highly doubt they would get it.

Now that I know better, if I’m put in a position where I had to go through the same situation again, the righteous self in me would have told my elders to stop making such jokes because it’s not funny. BUT in reality, since I have to ‘respect the elders’, I would most likely keep my comments to myself and stop this poisonous behavior in its tracks by not duplicating it in my own life. That’s one way of doing my part to end this toxic cycle.

That aside, I feel that it would be really tough as parents to not only teach your child that racism is wrong and also having to wrangle with these external factors to prevent them from poisoning your child’s mind. That’s why you shouldn’t have kids…? Just some food for thought.

Goodnight,

D