Psychopath.

It’s official. I live with a psychopath.

I’ve always wondered or rather shrugged it off when people mentioned that he’s just crazy but after 27 years of my life, I’ve finally had an epiphany. He might actually be mentally unwell.

Yes, I lost control. I’ve been tolerating for the past 27 years and this year at reunion dinner, I snapped.

Let’s just say, I literally said whatever was on my mind and it was not nice at all. I cannot accept it when someone disrespects my mother and this was the last straw. I don’t regret what I did because I think it’s been something I’ve been lugging along my whole life. I realized that I really hate it when I don’t understand something and their marriage is one of the things I tried so hard to decipher and failed umpteen times. And I give up.

I’m not even sure was it the misogynistic comments or the personal attacks that provoked me but wow am I triggered. I’m not even sure why I cried. Was it because it matters? Was it the years and years of injustice I felt? Was it the emotional trauma talking? I’m not sure but I regret nothing.

Perhaps he is not a psychopath. I don’t really care anymore. I’m simply going to accept that some people are the way they for absolutely no reason at all. I’m done going down this rabbit hole only to come to realization that some questions have no answers. So done.

Moving forward, I have decided that I shall not be provoked by his words or prescence and in fact, not even give a sht anymore. My sole focus shall be on my mother alone. I’m am so so so so fucking tired of trying to fix myself from my past traumas and I really do not have the time to deal with this unecessary mental exhaustion.

2022 have just started and what a breath of fresh air it has been huh. Mad really.