Let’s name them A, B, C, D and E.
Mind you, meeting 5 people over a span of 2 weeks on Tinder…absolutely a feat for me. Why only 2 weeks? Because I got banned. And no, I swear I did not do anything inappropriate. Someone obviously hated me enough to get me banned. Possibly.
Previously, I never ventured to meet these people from dating apps irl but this time I thought, “Let’s venture forth and explore, meet these creatures for a change”.
So the question is, “How do I filter the people I should meet?”
Just like how you need a set of criterias when you filter data, let’s filter them out using the trusty old criterias that withstood the test of time… ZODIAC and ASTROLOGY.
Let me explain. My (self-proclaimed) fengshui expert mother told me that the zodiac which might be more compatible with me are those born in the year of the goat and rabbit i.e (31 and 35 years old this year; oh yes older men). She literally was at work one day and texted me, “There’s a GOAT engineer at my company”. Not just an engineer. A GOAT ENGINEER. I’m dead. So yes, zodiac.
Next, I added my own twist which was astrology i.e those whose star sign falls under Aquarius, Cancer, Libra and Gemini tend to be more compatible with Libras. So there we have it:
- Criteria 1: Born in the year of the Goat or Rabbit
- Criteria 2: Star sign falls under Aquarius, Cancer, Libra or Gemini
Note: Its hard to find someone who checks both criterias so let’s lower our expectations – fulfill at least one of these criterias will do.
Let’s start with Mr A (Snake, Aquarius).
One would think A might be a creep even but not me cause I have a rather high tolerance for creeps.
So the thing about A is how his texts are insanely inappropriate and when I met him in real life, he’s an absolute gentleman. He personally prepared food for me for goodness sake. Who even does that? All men, duh.
Let’s just say that his inappropriateness is an understatement. Perhaps I was just not used to this upfront, full blown sexual content. The disconnect between his mind and his personality was mindblowing. It oddly intrigued me somehow. We have the same MBTI results – INFJs and I felt that we connected quite well although I find his inappropriateness jarring sometimes… correction – all the time*
He shared that he used to have depression when he was younger and since then, he have not been able to hold a stable job. Personally, I felt that he could have had a lot of potential to succeed in life if he didn’t let depression take over, he’s really an eloquent and well-read person which I strangely admire.
We had our first date at the park and we got bitten by bugs because we thought it would be a good idea to sit on the grass patch late at night. Hilarious really. Somewhere along the way I drifted from him as I went on more dates so there’s that. A very peculiar guy indeed.
Then there was Mr B (Cancer, Dragon).
B came across to me as more of a brotherly figure.
Apparently, we lived pretty near each other so we met around the vicinity for dinner and drinks and ngl we did hit it off pretty well. He shared that he was an insurance agent as well as a fitness trainer because his main job couldn’t pay the bills. Yes, times are tough.
His family reminded me of mine; slightly dysfunctional or rather his sister resembles me. She didn’t want to deal with the bullsht and moved the fuck out – something I want to do quite badly. Her relationship with her parents got better after she moved out so that’s heartwarming to hear.
On a random note, he mentioned he wanted to get a car for his job and to impress girls which was very… interesting. Just a simple guy I guess. Admittedly, I friendzoned him after that because well, sometimes you just know if that person is partner material or we’ll just be better off as friends. I’m quite brutal I’m sorry.
Then there’s Mr C (Goat, Libra).
Let’s see, meeting C was like meeting a like-minded stranger and leaving as like-minded strangers. Period.
Its so funny because I can totally imagine us together not giving a sht about each other, just treating a marriage as a partnership because we’ll be so focused on our careers. He was looking for an independent and understanding partner. I translate that as “I don’t really need a partner actually, just someone to be there”.
Either way, he was a Libra too and he had endless amount of questions for me throughout the date which I found entertaining to answer. Morally questionable questions. In fact, I would like to takeaway that Libras in general have no morals…AT ALL. He shared he has a fwb who was a cougar with children which amazed me for some reason. Side note, I legit think he was looking for a fwb since he literally texted me in the dead of the night for sex. How predictable. Men, I know right.
Then there’s Mr D (Goat, Libra).
D was strangely shady, creepy and behaves like an absolute child.
Albeit a very thoughtful child. He massaged my shoulders on our first date which normally people will find it weird but not me because that’s literally the way to my heart. I LOVE massages. It’s also the funniest date I’ve been on because everything seemed to go wrong for him. I literally paid for everything because the restaurants we went to does not accept cash which was only what he had. Shady much?
Funny story, mother called me in the middle of the date to buy bananas. Yes, bananas for her prayers (which was god damn random and weird). So, he had to drop me off at the supermarket after the date so I can get them bananas for my mum. I did go on a couple more dates with him and despite his grumpy personality, he probably tops the list in thoughtfulness or perhaps I’m just very observant.
The kicker comes in when he shared his body count is over 30. I know. Its so strange because I see the same darkness in him which makes me uneasy because how the fuck do we conquer life together if we’re equally pessimistic? Maybe I’m just overthinking it. Great guy nonetheless.
Lastly, there’s Mr E (Rabbit, Taurus).
Hanging with E felt reminiscent of perhaps how my late grandfather doted on me when I was a child.
Its a weird feeling but it made sense somehow; must be a rabbit thing. He was very much older than me and initially we hit it off really well, we could possibly be best friends even. The chemistry was undeniable. Being a Taurus, he was very much a workaholic and his life only revolves around work which was great because it felt like he could motivate me; at least career-wise.
One of my dealbreakers is smoking and yes, he vapes. I justified the chemistry between us and thought I’ll look past the vaping and see how things goes. We had a great time chatting about astrology, people watching, dissecting psychological behaviours of women and even bungee jumped together (freaking awesome if you’d ask me).
Plot twist: He’s divorced with a kid.
Ngl its an immediate red flag when he did not share with me this crumb of information the first time we met, I had to probe to find out. Imagine my shock. Not that I have anything against divorced people but I’d prefer not to indulge in the complexities which may arise in their past. Furthermore, there is a child involved. So its a no for me. Besides, I somehow get a manipulative vibe from him, maybe because he shared that he insisted on having the kid when his wife didn’t want one.
These are just some people I met irl, there are plenty more people I matched with which only stayed as online chats cause girl here was popz. Kidding. Or not.
Texting and meeting these people really made me rethink what a modern day relationship is about. In a good way; albeit awkward initially. In a relationship, other than an emotional connection, your sex life plays a significant role as well.
Granted, sex is a taboo topic which women tend to not talk about because of certain social expectations but its definitely crucial for a healthy relationship.
In fact, my initial discomfort has been alleviated after answering so many questions from these people which made me strangely more comfortable with my sexuality? Does that make sense? Can you imagine listening to men talk about how sexually active they are, their body counts and their sexual preferences etc. Oh, I could almost laugh and die from the awkwardness. Don’t get me wrong, sex is important but I was not as comfortble as I thought I would be speaking about such matters to the male counterpart? But yes, I overcame it.
Fact is, these are actually questions that matter if you plan to have a healthy relationship (at least if you prioritize your sex life in a relationship).
Honestly, I didn’t think too much about it until one of the men I was dating shared that he ended his relationship because his partner was unable to accomodate to his high sex drive. His partner prefers using toys and her rationale is that sex is just for reproduction purposes. So. Many. Perspectives. Understandably, sex life is obviously very crucial to certain people and not to others. No judgement there.
Either way, I reckon do what makes you happy and be safe is all that matters.
I made a couple of friends along the way and its been such a breath of fresh air. Interestingly, it has also made me more self aware of my flaws/insecurities and it has forced me to tackle them for good which I’m glad. I for one started to take more kindly to criticisms when it comes from a place of good intentions. Just trying to be a better person I suppose.
Sadly, its all fun and games until someone gets hurt.
I believe I might have unintentionally broke some hearts along the way even though I didn’t mean to.
Sometimes I think, “Why do I always seem to attract people who are as equally broken as me?”
Birds of the same feather flock together perhaps? Admittedly, I can’t imagine living with someone who an absolute ray of sunshine all the time either. They’d probably hate me. So there’s that. Cheers to growing up I guess.
D
theniecextn. 
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