Penguins Mate For Life.

Do you belive in monogamy?

I did a poll, and the two camps are not that much different which was rather interesting. Unsurprisingly, most females believe in monogamy whereas most of the male counterparts opted for the latter. Girls fall harder in love perhaps? Unsurprisingly so. I think I should go and look at the cheating statistics for this.

Honestly, if you asked me if I believe in monogamy. I don’t.

I don’t think you’re supposed to spend your life with just one person but in general, most people do try to. Key word – try. Perhaps because that’s the right thing to do.

Personally, I’ve always thought that our personalities evolve over time and your needs and wants are continuously changing so it makes more sense that the person who can fulfil your needs might not be the same person you were with at a certain point in time. Some may argue that the person you are with will also grow and change with you but whether the two of you grow in the same direction is always up in the air. There’s always a possibility that your goals might not be aligned in ten, twenty years’ time. So, what happens then? Do you stay on because he/she has been the person you’ve spent a past decade with? Or move on? Decisions, decisions, decisions.

Sometimes I reckon that monogamous relationships are more suitable for people who are easily satisfied/content?

Nothing wrong with that. But what if you have an emotional connection without necessarily being physically or sexually attracted to that one person? Do we just…settle? Like sort of prioritize which is the most important and just live without the other aspects? Granted, most would agree that having an emotional connection would be the most important but keeping in mind that feelings do fade, should you still be fully invested in someone based solely on just emotional connection? Maybe this is the cynical part of me speaking.

Someone came to me and asked me a rather interesting question, “Do you chose a partner based on feelings or suitability?”.

Depends on what you are looking for. In the short run, if you feel like being foolish, sure do follow your feelings. But in the long run, I’d like to think that feelings do fade so suitability might be more sustainable if you plan to spend the rest of your life with this person. People who marry for love might not necessarily be suitable for each other. Conversely, people who are suitable for each other might not necessarily be in love. And guess what, suitability triumphs emotions in the long run because if it doesn’t work out, you can still tolerate each other and co-exist in the same space (tried and tested from real life examples *ahem*). That is, if the plan is to stay in a monogamous relationship.

Monogamy has always been the default because that’s what’s been known to me.

Admittedly, whenever I’m in long term committed relationships, the idea that this one person is supposed to fulfil every aspect of my needs does boggle my mind sometimes That said, the right thing to do was to stay committed which isn’t hard to do but I do remain unconvinced.

Truth is, it’s nice to have someone around but to expect them to accommodate to all your needs might be a stretch. Nevertheless, we do try. Until one day you realize, things are not going to work out. Then we move on. Perhaps the better approach to save time and energy might not always be monogamous relationships.

Depending on your personality, I do believe possessiveness does play a role in this decision. I do have a rather free rein approach in my relationships, so monogamy does feel slightly suffocating for me especially when my partner is strongly possessive. Perhaps that’s why I’m slightly biased. Good food for thought though.

Whatchu think?

D