What am I looking for?

Someone asked me this question. Do I want to settle down? Or play?

“I think you want to settle down”

Honestly, I think I don’t. I like being free. Perhaps I’m just done with relationships in general. I’ve literally spent 8 years of my life in long term committed relationships. So tell me what I cannot get from my past relationships that you can offer. No really, change my mind. Ok maybe… more CASH or a spare kidney HAHAHA. Do I need more stress? Trauma? Drama? Of course not.

Jokes aside, ultimately, it’s a choice. I think I’m gonna start choosing me for once. Start trying to fix myself for a start. I don’t about you but there’s something very liberating when you have the courage to start from scratch and do everything all over again. Be it making new friends. Meeting new people. Creating new experiences. I am living for it.

In fact, I’ll travel alone and unlock a new chapter of solo adventure. Am I crazy? Perhaps. I think I’m no longer bounded by fear. Fear of being judged. Fear of being alone. Fear of being different. It gets tiring sometimes.

Sometimes I feel like a lot of things in life are pretty redundant. Pleasing people you don’t care about is pointless. Attending weddings for people you’re not close to is a waste of time. Talking to people you don’t like is pretty pointless. People in general are boring or is it just me?

“Being committed is choosing to enjoy the mundane details together as a couple.”

Damn. That’s nice. Don’t think that’s gonna be for me tbh but it works for other people I suppose.

Oh, on a random note, I went drinking the other day and I think I have reached a new level of old. I was literally debating with random strangers on 1) bisexuality (trying to change their mindset to be more open-minded wtf) and 2) does true love truly exist.

Yes, I sat myself down with a Pieces and Scorpio and 3 of us had an intense discussion on the topic of, “If true love exists”. I am very disappointed to announce that the 2-1 believes that true love does indeed exist. Guess which one I voted for. But damn, these convesations tickles my mind. Love it. After that night, I have officially hit the drinking quota for the year HAHAHA (okay maybe DnD another session).

Imagine this, you crawling out of bed the next morning with a hangover and going to teach secondary school MATHEMATICS. “Teacher, you look unwell, are you okay?” “Yep, I’m good” HAHAHA

I’m insane. Worked out well though. Ahh, life.

Till the next.

D