Calm down.

Can we talk about parents who use their children as tools for their personal gains? How fucked up is that? Is that normal?

You would say that yes anything that is in their best interest will become their child’s in future when they die. But I grapple with the fact that some parents don’t even care to consider that their children have actual emotions and feelings but rather just objects or tools to achieve their goals. That’s fucked up.

I would love to tell you that my nightmare is over but honest to god, it only seems to be getting worse?

Fun fact, when dear old dad was around, he never fails to remind us that we are tenants in his house and he can’t wait to throw us out so that he can rent out the house and get his passive income. So inevitably…I can’t wait to fuck off from this house and get away from this rubbish. Now that he is gone, my mother seems to be…turning into him?

Hypothetically, I have no reason to move out anymore because he’s gone but now my mother is trying to rent the house out because “she can’t stay in this place anymore”. Honestly, I don’t necessarily think the issue lies with this house but rather her state of mind. She’s grieving so we gotta be patient with her. However, I can’t help but feel a little sick to my stomach knowing that his “dream” seems to be what my mother want to realize.

Now you must be thinking, if you rent the whole house out, where are you going to stay? On the streets.

Nah, maybe we can pressure the kids to get a BTO so you have a place to stay whilst collecting rent. I know.

There’s no fucking way I will force myself to get married just to get a house so my parents can have a roof over a head so there’s that. If I have to rent a place till I turn 35 before I can own my own house, then so be it. I don’t really see the need to pressure myself to finance a private property I can’t afford? That’s just my thoughts for now.

Let’s just consider this as a phase and perhaps a challenge to my mental health because I am truly fucking tired of this bullsht. It’s almost as though, I’m facing the same demon over and over again. Is that what they mean when they say parent-child relationships are difficult? Cause it sure as hell is.

Sigh.

D