One Year Later.

October has been rather slow with a couple of random thoughts I thought I wanted to pen so here goes.

The human experience should be the reason why you want to bring a kid into this world.

To enjoy what it means to be human. They shouldn’t come into this world to suffer and I’m sure most parents should feel this way in the event they do choose to have kids.

Been having countless conversations with friends about children since they’ve gotten married, quite possibly that’s the “next step”. Actually, one even almost got a divorce cause of their differences in opinions regarding whether they should have a kid. Honestly, I think it’s rather childish or even ignorant to simply have kids just because they are cute. However, women don’t necessarily function using logic so there isn’t much convincing in such situations. But ngl, marriage does come with their own set of problems but in my opinion, you sort of chose to put yourself in that situation so you just have face it.

Tbh I can really see why people chose to be single, for good reason.

Also, I finally got the keys to my apartment which is…interesting. Another item to pay for right? I’m on the fence about this because in one way or another I do have to pay for a house at some point in life so it’s simply a matter of time. I’d rather do this with family though so I definitely should get rid of this apartment hopefully not at a loss.

Been also spending more time with the fam and it’s been pretty alright. Yesterday, we spent an entire day at the temple for dear old dad’s death anniversary. Actually, we had two options – to hold it at the voiddeck OR hold it at a temple. The lady mentioned that if we do hold it at the temple, there would be more monks and it would accumulate more good karma…something along those lines. Unsurprisingly, Mother went for the latter. And mind you, this costs 8K? WTF. It’s her money so whatever right. I initially told her I’m not interested to attend and she “convinced” me that this is only for the first year. So I agreed.

Let’s just say the monks chanted for almost 6 hours with a couple of breaks in between and they literally memorized the entire scripture. Rather impressive but considering they do this for living….as they should. I actually could tell these monks were also tired from chanting, one looked like he was going to fall asleep. Dear Buddha, if you are reading this, please look into this.

I was very annoyed for the entire day, the food was meh and we had to keep kneeling and listening to them chant. The volunteers passed us the buddhist books so we can chant along but I can barely understand any of the words they were saying so I didn’t bother. They were chanting quite fast and it actually sounded like they could go and audition to be rappers if they do decide to switch careers.

L was rather annoyed that it was an entire day spent at the temple when my mother initially told him it was a half day thing. Thankfully, everything ended at 630PM and we were exhausted af. Mother was actually sobbing for awhile during the session, she felt emotional I suppose. Me and L were just…there.

One of the ladies at the temple kept talking to Mother about Buddhist teachings; about sins and trying to reconcile that this ritual will “help” him have a better life when he reincarnates that sort of thing. Very unneccesary. Made her crying worse. I couldn’t be bothered since everyone is entitled to their own faith and beliefs.

I kept thinking about how people benefit from tragedies in general. Insurance, Funerals and Religions.

One can argue they help people who are affected to have a peace of mind but I don’t necessarily think it should be heavily monetized. On a random note, recently I found out that Muslims are not supposed to buy life insurance because their religion preaches that you should not benefit from tragedies. That makes absolute sense to me for some reason even though I’m not Muslim.

I actually went to ask what do temples do with the money they get from people and it seems that they use it to build more temples which got me thinking….would you go to a temple to ask for money? or a place to stay? Why would you respect a monk and treat him like a king? What did he do to deserve this? Just because he chants and blesses you so he should be treated better than normal person? Would you ask a monk for help?

Apparently, most temples in Singapore are owned by the Chinese and all our monks are from China. In fact, these monks can be very affluent given that so many people go to them to ask for blessings. Do they give this back to society? Or just buy a new luxury car?

I guess I never understood religions because I always believed that you are the only person who can help yourself.

No god can help you. No amount of praying can change you if you are trash. I reckon people who turn to religion perhaps just really need self-reflection. To be honest, my uncle brought us to the church when we were kids and I enjoyed it simply because everyone there was friendly and it was fun. Until dear old dad stopped us from attending church because according to him, “God doesn’t pay your bills or buy you milk powder”. Piece of work he is but I suppose that’s true. The irony is when he proceed to go pray in Chinese temples and even goes all the way to Thailand to pray. He obviously did not see the walking contradiction he was to his children.

If you asked me if my Mother knows what she is doing, she has no clue. It’s just to give herself a peace of mind which is understandable. The temple actually told her that we should not have thrown the ashes in the sea but instead put it in the temple. Too bad, she asked for my opinion so. Am I a bad person? Perhaps in the eyes of others I am. Should I follow my elders’ footsteps? Nah. Am I going to hell? That’s alright too.

That said, if you do really want to help people, don’t go to temples. Go to charities where they actually help people who need it most. That’s just me. Some may argue that monks and temples also help people in need but honestly speaking, if you are really in need of help, would you go to a temple to ask for help? I suppose Buddha or God can bless you with some benefactor and tide you through your darkest times yeah? Buy hey, to each their own. I do belive that religions do exist for good reasons; keeps people grounded and crime rates low ideally.

On a random note, today Chandler Bing died from a heart attack in his bath tub at the age of 54. It really makes you think about life sometimes. I do think about death sometimes but not in a bath tub I hope. Life’s short, do what makes you happy.

As the holidays approach, I’m contemplating how to occupy my time since I’m quite free now. Some volunteering might be nice. That’s all for now.

Stay safe,

D