Ghosts.

Do you remember the person who took your V card? You’ll never forget.

Out of sheer curiosity and mostly boredom I decided to meet him for a meal after close to 12 years. We do hang out over a couple games of mahjong but that was pretty much it; not much conversing. This time was intentionally scheduled as a catch up session which was different for a change.

We caught up over 3 pints of beer and he shared about his career how he didn’t use his degree in chemistry but instead decided to be a full time tutor instead. I reckon the money was good to keep him going for almost 5 years now. His tutoring schedule seems to run everyday to the extent that he even refused to join his family for a weekend cruise just to make sure he doesn’t skip any lessons which sounds rather atrocious to me but everyone has different priorities who am I to judge. This private tutor lifestyle seems to be rather unhealthy too since he’s only available in the wee hours of the night after all his lessons are done. This also means his friends always ask him out for drinks till really late at night; ngl he struck me as kind of an alchoholic which turned me off quite a bit.

We casually talked about how our relationships went and apparently he broke up last June. Of which he continued to hang out with his ex because he’s supposedly the “fun” one compared to her current partner. I’m not sure why he went on to tell me that they even slept together and he became a third party in her relationship LOL. That’s messed up but I’m amused. He went to confess to the girl’s partner and broke things off with her after that. He seems to be quite nonchalent about doing the right thing but I have my doubts. No one in their right mind would continue to hang around an ex unless…the seggs was that good? HAHAHA He did mention that the reason they broke up was because he was unable to give her the stability she wanted… I mean fair point but he doesn’t really strike me as someone who wants to settle down though. I didn’t probe too much about it either.

Nevertheless I shared about my failed relationship and how I gave up a BTO and bought a condominium in the span of 4 years. Of which after I broke up, I continued to pay off the mortgage with my ex for the next 3 years. Maybe it’s a joke but the day we finally sold the condominium was actually my birthday… that’s the last time we spoke in 2024. It’s been a year since? I used to hate the idea of working just to pay off a mortgage but now that I’m not paying anything off, I don’t see myself quitting my job either which is so annoying.

He briefly did mention to me his elder sister who got married a couple years back got a divorce because she found out that her husband was cheating. They are currently in the midst of processing the divorce and she will slowly move back to her parent’s place to join him. I think that entire encounter changed her and she has questionable morals thereafter which is understandable.

Anyway, he is also aware of my brother’s predicament and asked a little about him without probing too much. I think when I was dating him back then, I believe I did share my trauma and problems to him so this ending with my dad was not entirely surprising I suppose.

He’s still the same person, still hates vegetables, still mummy’s boy and still…childish. A little materialistic even? Initially, I was wondering if I would be attracted to him all over again like how I did in the past but I didn’t. In fact, it made it crystal clear to me that some things are better to be kept in the past. We will still stay as friends but if you really asked me would I consider him as a partner I wouldn’t hesitate to say no. We are drastically different people compared to the days when we were schooling. I think when you date in your twenties, you still believe in love. In my thirties, it’s less about love and more about compatibility because love can only get you so far innit?

I don’t think I can ever find someone who can meet me in the same depth after everything that has happened and I’m okay with that.

The past shall stay… in the past.

Lots of Love,

D